


Lasers, Pew Pew Pew

by MiniNephthys



Category: Blaze Union
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eater debates over the merits of the laser harp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lasers, Pew Pew Pew

Eater finds it while he’s searching Youtube for harp covers of hard rock songs. He’s looking for sheet music, or at least videos with clear sound so he can try to learn by ear, when he finds:

“Laser harp.” Eater reads the text on the screen out loud, to confirm that’s really what he’s seeing. And again: “Laser harp!”

He spends the next hour watching videos of various laser harps being played while his other half is oddly silent in his head. He knows her, so he knows she’s huffing and expects to be asked why she’s so unhappy, but right now he’s too engrossed to care.

Finally, she speaks up. _That is not a harp. That is a laser keyboard, or a laser piano at best, but not a harp._

“It has strings,” he points out, clicking on the next video.

_Pianos have strings,_ she replies. _That is played nothing like a beautiful harp, it only bears a superficial resemblance to the instrument._

“We’re getting one,” he says.

_We are not!_

“We’re totally getting one. I’m saving up all the money myself.” They split their money according to who earns it, for less disagreements about how to spend it. “Must be, what, a thousand dollars? Lemme check it out.”

_Do we even have the space?_

“We’ll fit it in somewhere,” he says. “I’ll make room.”

_Really, you won’t even be able to hit people over the head with this one._

“Sorry, was that the sound of you ignoring something’s musical ability for its use as a weapon? Do I even know you?” he asks, grinning.

_Well… I…_ Flustered, she gives up. _I’m not putting a cent towards this, you understand._

“Thanks~”

A few months later, Eater has the laser harp set up and ready to go in their house. His female half is grumbling in his head, but he doesn’t pay her the slightest bit of attention as he starts messing around with the controller.

_Not a real harp._

“Better than a real harp,” he says, and grins at her shocked _what?!_ “You heard me. I can make basically any kind of sound I want to with this. I could fake real harp sounds or I could rock out.”

_I won’t allow this insult to go unchallenged,_ she says. _We’ll have a contest, my harp against your laser… thing. I’ll show you the harp is superior._

He shrugs. “I don’t mind, but… So who are we gonna get to judge who’s cool with the whole, y’know, sharing bodies thing?”

In a display of poor judgment, they ask Pamela, who immediately accepts (“the great Pamela has the best musical taste!”) before they can change their minds.

The competition starts just before evening. Eater primly sits by her harp. Pamela gives the signal, and Eater begins to play a soothing, tender melody.

A harp can create more than just one sound with each string. It can be strummed along with others to create a harmony, or plucked individually, allowed to vibrate or cut short. Eater is a master harpist and she puts her all her skills to use.

The song ends just as the sun starts to set. Eater hits the lights and hops over to his laser harp controller, brimming with confidence.

The laser harp can create any number of sounds, but the ones he’s chosen for today mimic those of a traditional harp. Eater’s almost as talented a harpist as his other half, and he knows the song he’s playing well enough to recreate it on a different type of instrument.

When he’s done, he looks at Pamela expectantly.

“Hmmmmmm…” Pamela takes a long time to think, before saying, “Pamela declares that the harp harp is a better harp harp, and the laser harp is a better laser harp!”

A short silence.

_Why did we ask her?_

“We don’t have any other friends.”


End file.
